Moment of genius gone wrong
by Jubalint Ikinz
Summary: James was so sure it was going to work. It was supposed to be the greatest prank on EVERYONE! Of course, what goes up, must be slammed down with a rock hard punch. SB/RL JEALOUS!SB JP/LE
1. Chapter 1

James thought it was genius.

Absolutely, the best prank that anyone, even Remus, couldn't think of.

It was almost like someone up there planned this wonderful prank and bestowed its holy beauty upon his awaiting arms.

But no, it was a wondrous prank that was inspired by most of the female population of Hogwarts.

It's not that all women were daft, Lily Evans could prove that.

But some are just so gullible.

That's where our story starts.

* * *

The setting is a rainy Saturday in the Gryffindor Common room; Remus had this crazy idea that today was going to be pretty calm and no tom-foolery from his fellow Marauder. Silly, Silly Remus. Have you not been taught anything important?

"Moony~!" James Potter ruffled his friends' hair affectionately.

'_I give them way too much credit.'_

"What Prongs?" sighed the shaggy lad. His hair now shuffled in front of his eyes, disabling him from reading his new novel.

"I have a brilliant prank~!" Knowing this routine, Remus asked;

"Does it involve breaking any major rules?"

"Not that I know of," _'Course James doesn't know all the rules.'_

"Severus?"

"Mmm-More like everyone in this school."

"Okay, so run it over with me once and then I can find every flaw." Most pranks were successful that way. Always nice to have Remus around to fix any lose ends on any plan.

"We should date."

Now, let us reread that statement.

And~insert Remus.

"What in Merlin's frilly pink slippers are you on?" Remus could have busted out laughing if it weren't the determined look on his friends' face.

"I'm on the gullibility of female curiosity."

"New street name for cocaine?"

"No, silly Remmy-kins!"

"Remmy-kins?"

"Well if you're gonna be my boyfriend, might as well have a sickly cute nickname."

"I don't recall saying yes to your proposition."

"Because you didn't hear my entire plan!"

"Well, go on then."

"So, as you know, you're gay."

"Yes, I do enjoy my fair share of blokes now and again." (1)

"And you are aware since your 'coming out' most females are always questioning your relations to me, Peter, and Sirius."

"Lily was much more curious, but yes."

"Well today I overheard a third year Ravenclaw asking about me and you."

"And it had to be about a relationship, I'm guessing."

"It would be like pranking everyone Remus!"

"What do you have to gain from this?"

"One, satisfaction of an entire school wide prank, and two, jealousy from my favorite red haired beauty."

"And what would I get out of this little prank?"

"The best looking bloke on your arm?"

Chuckling, he answered, "Sorry James, but I'll pass."

"Oh C'mon Remus! The Marauders have been on the down-low for way to long; smug first-years think we've gone soft."

Remus thought for a long moment. Sighing he said, "I must admit, it has been a bit quite around here," looking around the common room he added, "And I do tire from the first-years thinking that a dungbomb in the toilet is hilarious and original."

"That's the spirit Remus! So you'll agree?"

Remus, again, took a dramatic moment to think. "Fine."

"This is going to be great Remmy-kins, but we can't tell Sirius or Peter."

"At least you thought through who to tell or not."

"Remmy-kins approve! Yay!"

"-But before anything, I refuse the name Remmy-kins."

* * *

**A/N: Don't judge me; I have a closet obsession with James and Remus. But it is a Sirius/Remus story.  
I apologize if you get lost, and if the dialogue wasn't funny.  
If I get positive feedback, a new chapter will be put up.  
(1) I don't like how a lot of authors imply that Remus wouldn't have any boyfriends if he was gay.**

'_**Ciao**_


	2. Its so strange,

_They been acting weird for a few days now…_Sirius thinks, walking behind his two friends Remus and James to Potions.

* * *

Sirius Black knew his friends like the back of his pretty hand.

He knew what they like, their hobbies, and pet-peeves.

He knew their routines, as creepy as it sounds, better than them.

That's why Sirius Black is now glaring at the other blacked haired Marauder.

Sirius Black also knew one more thing about James.

James Potter NEVER partnered with Remus Lupin.

In fact, Lily Evans was the first person James asked.

The moment Remus said "Sorry Padfoot, James asked me to be his partner."

He knew that something was out of place.

Remus always partnered with HIM to help with Potions.

Sure, it took a bit of persuasion to get the werewolf to admit he needed help, but they ended up together at the sense of Remus trying to figure out everything by himself. Sirius supervisees quietly.

It was almost a routine for Remus to finally break at the end of each week, swallow his pride, and ask Sirius for help. Sometimes, Sirius awaited the Double-Potions at the end of the week, just to hear Remus sigh and drag himself to the seat next to his. It made him smile_._

But now, now he's here and stuck with Peter, who, as everyone knows, was about TEN TIMES worse at Potions then Remus. Just sitting behind James and Remus who were off giggling about something ridicules he guessed.

Clutching his chest at the weird, heaving sensations, he thought _'When did Moony and Prongs get so friendly…'_

* * *

James still thought this prank was fool proof. His plan started with him and Remus hanging out a bit more together than with the two others. So far, there are only small rumors scattered around. Time to take it up a notch.

Now the scene changes back into the Gryffindor common room. He and Remus sat together on the two-seat while Sirius and Peter were on the other side of the couch playing Exploding Snap.

"Remus," He whispered, "We have to look a little more suspicious." Remus glanced at him for a moment before sliding from his position on the armrest, to settle his head onto James' shoulder.

"Better?" asked the werewolf, glancing around the room to see if anyone noticed the change. So far, only a few birds took second looks before chatting with their friends.

"An improvement." James grinned, ruffling his friends' hair once again.

"Comfy are we?" Sirius asked from behind the couch, his tone joking but his eyes bitter.

"Yes, very, James'zall smushy on his shoulder." chuckled Remus, nuzzling the fabric of James robes.

"Are you accusing me of having fat shoulders?" James playfully pushed Remus' head away.

"No, not just the shoulders, Prongs." Remus laughed, grabbing his friends obviously toned stomach. James looked insulted, now standing up with a dramatic expression.

"Remus, I'm hurt!" Playing along, Remus held his arms up for a hug, "No, I won't hug you unless you say I'm a sexy beast." He pouted, crossing his arms and giving a loud 'humph' like a girl.

Sirius was already annoyed; Remus would never call him-

"I'm sorry James, you're a sexy beast," Remus, still holding out his arms, smiled sincerely. James, now over his little insecurities, gave a 180 turn from his previous attitude to a much more excited and jubilant face. He'd almost knocked over Remus back on the couch from his hug.

Sirius was in total shock, "Hey! You never called me a sexy beast," He whined, now tugging at Remus' hood. But he was completely ignored by the pair, which made his eye twitch.

"James! You're hogging Remus!" Sirius clawed his way between their hug. Now Sirius lies over Remus' stomach, Remus had his arms over him and awkwardly around James, and James was holding onto dear life. From the position, James had a clear shot of Remus' face.

Hair out of place, glassed had fallen off at some point, face flushed with excitement, hazel eyes looking grey from his position. Remus stared.

_Huh…he looks like… _without warning, without a second thought, our innocent Remus Lupin stretched his neck over Sirius back, and planted a chaste kiss on the surprised lips of James Potter.

"Remus…?" Sirius curved his body only to see the top of Remus head, but from that alone he knew their lips were connected.

Girls gasped in surprise.

Guys scrunched their noses in disgust and some in curiosity.

Lily Evans dropped her books.

Peter fainted.

And Sirius. Was. PISSED.

* * *

**A/N: Okay, so I didn't update on Thursday, I was busy. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter, but hopefully you caught on to what I meant. I tried to give more information of their emotions instead of just dialogue. Hope it worked. And my next update might take much longer because Finals are coming up and I need study time. But I'll try.**

_**Ciao~**_


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